Ilaera

I am myself and my song is love.

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as if they have forever by Ilaera, literature

Literature

as if they have forever

people talk as if they have forever, making plans for next week, next year where they want to be a decade of seasons away they walk sprightly and watch flowers grow and die and manage to smile at these little microcosms of their own mortality because they are lovely and smell sweet a perfect, grotesque confidence in mind over matter will over fate the fragility of now versus the cycles of life we manage to become numb to the cold breath on the back of our necks, the stage whisper that reminds us 'you too shall die' 'this may be your last night' we wander like ants, dodging giants' feet without seeing their shadow above us perpetually lo

inferno veins by Ilaera, literature

Literature

inferno veins

I have fires time cannot bank They burn behind my eyes and wait Bide their time, golden flickers Hesitant as a first caress But the inferno is never extinguished I was made for more than cinders, The ashes of your ego I was made for hard kisses And black rose petals Fingernails down straining backs, The world beneath closed eyelids, The sonnet of silence, the music of burning glances I was made for mutual worship, to lose myself entirely And emerge reborn each day For that intense connection when You catch your lover’s eye and your blood Turns to boiling wine, breath falters, Souls already wrapped around each other In some far-off p

a part of me is gone by Ilaera, literature

Literature

a part of me is gone

part of me has been gone a long time I sit here and live go through the motions of daily existence but a piece of me is dancing in the vastness of my mind with arms raised, eyes closed, head thrown back a part of me is lying wtih legs wrapped around a fantasy, hips rocking part of me is singing to a sold out theater part of me is on the moon among the sun and stars laughing as though there was never any pain dreaming hard with eyes wide open a part of me has been gone a long time safeguarded by the lock and key of imagination

cradled in both hands by Ilaera, literature

Literature

cradled in both hands

you taught me how to cradle relationships with both hands, to cradle everything beautiful softly with cupped fingers tenderly, like holding a chick feathers still damp, eyes blinking slowly in the newfound light for however beautiful, nothing lasts forever except me and my pillow and imagining arms around me in the darkness, being those arms around me for myself cradling myself in both hands while I blink in the newfound light and learn to fly on winds of memory, on times long gone they are the glow behind half-closed eyes they are the firmness of my hands, the gentleness too- they are all the ways I've learned to forgive and let go and

stories of tomorrow by Ilaera, literature

Literature

stories of tomorrow

the river winds on ever flowing lights on the shore look feel like home for a time and then are gone- familiar hands slip from your grasp and we are carried beyond their reach- forever or for now they leave you with memories, stories to replay when the air grows chill perhaps around the next bend those hands will touch yours again- and perhaps not it seems we are vessels of destiny where nothing is certain at all with stars and sun and moon to guide us, little islands with twinkling beacons of welcome and yet we can stay nowhere eternally the water carrying us whether we sink or swim, resist or float peacably caught between remembering lo

Awareness Gift by Ilaera, literature

Literature

Awareness Gift

Sitting in silence I am overcome with a wave Of awareness, cool and warm both I swim beneath it and let it soak my skin Before breaking through, taking that first Deep breath after your outlook changes “What you need will not always come from Someone else, not reliably- You can wait for the rest of your life for people to Truly see you, for them to sense your Sorrows and anxieties and idiosyncrasies For recognition without reaching for it- For them to live in your skin and see through your Eyes But they won’t They can’t- most people can’t even see through Their own We all try to paint the world with our brush, but w

rain dancing in the droughtlands by Ilaera, literature

Literature

rain dancing in the droughtlands

She has left bleached bones in Her wake, A desert, a droughtland, parched trees reaching skyward With begging hands Goddess of Devastation and Finding Beauty Therein She has sharpened my claws and hardened my gaze But I am still me, still leaving the same footprints throough the sand Still singing dry-throated under the blood-red moon The pain has been purged and there is no anger- I cradle that empty space, seek to fill it with nourishment, With seedlings and lush vines, each leaf a wish Unfolding in the sunlight that lies just beyond the dawn I dream of performing rain dances with arms raised and hands Bleeding, spinning in circles until I

shadow self by Ilaera, literature

Literature

shadow self

walking down where waves of memory meet the sands of time picking up broken shell moments and turning them over and over in my palms wondering when it all got away from me- wondering if I will always be the girl who finds the bright gleam beneath the tarnish the woman who runs her finger along a hairline fracture in a priceless jewel until it shatters I bring my hands to my lips and taste iron, honeysuckle, salt-tears, the color blue I don't remember my teeth going into my tongue over and over whether it was the fear that everything has changed forever or the pain of broken skin that caused the keening moan that escaped my sealed lips and fi

at your window by Ilaera, literature

Literature

at your window

so I scoured myself inside and out left no stone unturned and gathered the lessons like gifts clutched close to my heart I planted seedlings and nurtured them before transplanting them into little pots to brighten your windowsill sang songs to the full moon so She’d carry them your way and teach you the words hoping one day we’d sing together finally I looked in the mirror and knew I was ready to try again I came to your door, the first time in ages but before I could set down my packages and knock before I could cross the threshold movement caught my eye and I stayed rooted where I was- I looked in through the paneled window and

Seven of Wands by Ilaera, literature

Literature

Seven of Wands

Six staves cut air bluntly Only my firm grasp avoids Bruises and broken Bones, broken spirits As I parry each blow I will not take your pain And lay it at my feet When I can look in the mirror And know decisively It does not stem from me Calm eyes, steady gaze From this vantage point I can see that you Are hurting I tried to ease that pain With love, without success Because the only way to heal Is to feel You cannot move on from The things you point to Others for I take ownership of my own wounds The lack of boundaries The illusion I placed above my Intuition- that is mine to own But I will no longer take Ownership for yours Because love

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as if they have forever by Ilaera, literature

Literature

as if they have forever

inferno veins by Ilaera, literature

Literature

inferno veins

a part of me is gone by Ilaera, literature

Literature

a part of me is gone

cradled in both hands by Ilaera, literature

Literature

cradled in both hands

stories of tomorrow by Ilaera, literature

Literature

stories of tomorrow

Awareness Gift by Ilaera, literature

Literature

Awareness Gift

rain dancing in the droughtlands by Ilaera, literature

Literature

rain dancing in the droughtlands

shadow self by Ilaera, literature

Literature

shadow self

at your window by Ilaera, literature

Literature

at your window

Seven of Wands by Ilaera, literature

Literature

Seven of Wands

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Ilaera Windsong, Night Elf Priestess by Ilaera, visual art

Ilaera Windsong, Night Elf Priestess

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About Ilaera

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Artist // Professional // Varied

Dec 23
Canada
Deviant for 11 years
www.ilaera.tumblr.com
She / Her

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My Bio

I'm a 38 year old proud polyamorous, bisexual pagan. Lots of P's in that! xD

I am a firm believer in equality, tolerance, and compassion above all else.

I will never not believe in love.

I'm an avid gamer- everything from old school Western-style RPGs like Exile and Avernum to MMOs. My favorites are the Baldur's Gate series, EverQuest, Final Fantasy, and World of Warcraft, but I also love Guild Wars 2, Rift, SWTOR, and others that I dabble in. I LOVE elves, dragons, magic, and creating fantasy worlds of my own. Digital and traditional art are fulfilling and fun for me, but my first love is writing, poetry first and foremost, but also short stories and novels in the horror, sci-fi, fantasy, romance, and memoir genres.

Please feel free to drop me a line anytime! I love meeting people and making friends.

Favourite Visual Artist

Samwise Didier

Favourite Movies

The Crow, Interview With the Vampire, Suicide Club, Memoirs of a Geisha, anything Tarantino.

Favourite TV Shows

Orange is the New Black, Hannibal, RuPaul's Drag Race, Criminal Minds, Game of Thrones

Favourite Bands / Musical Artists

Tori Amos, Siouxsie and the Banshees, Sisters of Mercy, London After Midnight, Ego Likeness, Switchblade Symphony, other such gothy nonsense. <3

Favourite Books

Too many to list! I have over 1,000 books and love most of them.

Favourite Writers

Poppy Z. Brite, Anne Rice, George R. R. Martin, Stephen King, Rebecca Wells, tons more.

Favourite Games

World of Warcraft, The Sims, Everquest, Everquest 2, Guild Wars 2, Rift, DnD, Vampire: The Masquerade.

Favourite Gaming Platform

PC for life!

Tools of the Trade

Tablet, pen, brain, voice.

Other Interests

I could tell you.. but I'd have to kill you. <3

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Ilaera

Mar 18, 2016

And reach out will it not be soft and kind At rest from life from patience and from pain At rest from bliss we know not when we find How can I have enough of life and love